Wedding From Hell
by ZebbieCullen
Summary: They say weddings are stressful but this is ridiculous! Everything's going great for the team, but on the day Tosh and Owen are set to be wed, everything goes wrong. Tosh's parents are strict, Jack's acting odd, Ianto's pissed off and Owen? He's pregnant.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is the sequel to 'Missing You', I would recommend reading it if you haven't already before you read this, otherwise parts won't make sense. RTD and the BBC own everything, Lady Clark and I are just borrowing the team._ Hopefully_ they'll be returned unharmed...hope you like it!_

_Summary: They say weddings are stressful but this is ridiculous! Everything is going great for the team, but on the day Tosh and Owen are set to get married, everything goes wrong. Tosh's parents are strict, Jack is acting weird, Ianto's pissed off and Owen? He's pregnant... _

Owen's POV

I woke up to find myself in Tosh's empty bed – no, I meant _our_ empty bed. It would take some time to get used to the idea. I had moved into her apartment last week after another Weevil had broken in and the landlord had had enough. I was still trying to get used to living with her. I love her, but it was hard to get used to having to share closet space with her, strange to sleep in silk sheets, strange to wake up beside the same beautiful woman every morning. I haven't been in this type of commitment since Katie.

At least this time I know Tosh won't die because of an alien thing eating away at her brain. And if something like that was about to happen Jack and I would stop it. Because we're Torchwood. We're family. Good God, I sounded like a cheesy family soap. It was still painful to think of Kate, but with all the pain I had suffered in my lifetime I didn't really register it.

I felt the bed dip. "Rise and shine sleeping beauty," Tosh whispered softly in my ear. "Ianto will have a cow if we're late."

I turned to see her in her silk dressing gown looking ruffled by sleep and sex. "Ianto can have a farm for all I care," I said, pulling her closer. "Let's stay in bed all day," I suggested, my voice alluring.

She giggled, "Come on, Owen, we promised to be in early if we were allowed out early."

That reminded me what I was planning to do today. I was going to propose to Toshiko Sato, hopefully soon-to-be Harper. I shot up and rushed to the wardrobe to get some clean clothes, there was no way I was letting Ianto get in the way of my proposal to the perfect woman. Tosh had accepted every aspect of me and my life. I even introduced her to my family. And trust me, that's saying a lot.

I walked to the bathroom, ignoring the thump of something falling out of my pocket. It wasn't till I heard Tosh gasp that I turned round. To find the ring box in her hands. I felt my heart rate pick up as I watched her curiously pop the lid open.

"Shit," I hissed. "This wasn't how I planned things."

She tore her eyes away from the glimmering diamond ring in the velvet box for a second. "_This_ is why you wanted to get out early today?" she asked, a tinge of shock in her voice.

I nodded. We were both silent for a moment. I gave a nervous cough. "So will you marry me then, Tosh?" I blurted out, fingers crossed behind my back praying she'd say yes.

She squealed and jumped on top of me, kissing every inch of my face. "Of" – kiss – "Course" – kiss – "I" – kiss – "Will" – kiss – "Marry" – kiss – "You!" she said in between kisses.

I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. I threaded my hand through her hair and pulled her down for a rough kiss. I was getting married!

Ianto's POV

I walked in feeling giddy, ignoring the scattered papers and pizza boxes around me. I'd clean them up later. Two months ago I had found the most perfect man. He was handsome, sweet, kind, intelligent and a good shag. But best of all he worked for UNIT as a free agent, so he understands why I have to go to work at such strange times. He even agreed to move in with me. To celebrate I had brought the team and I coffee and brownies from Costa.

"Good morning, Ianto," Gwen called from Jack's office, practically glowing. The past month had brought us all extreme happiness and it was showing. We'd never felt closer to each other.

"Morning Gwen," I called back, setting the coffee down on a desk. "Where's Jack? I've got his favourite brownies."

"Did someone say brownies?" Jack said, stumbling up from the cells rubbing his hands together as if trying to clean them. "I was just feeding Janet and guess what? I finally found out what's wrong with her."

"Constipation?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

"Nope," Jack said beaming, his teeth gleaming white. He'd always had an amazing smile. "Good ol' Bob has gone out and gotten her pregnant, we're going to be Aunties and Uncles to a litter of Weevils!"

See, even our Weevils have found love. "I've got great news," I said casually, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Jake proposed?" Gwen asked

My eyes shot up. "What? Nah, too soon," I said. We'd only known each other a few months and I didn't want to rush things. I had a really good feeling about Jake. "He's moving in with me, though."

Gwen threw her arms around me. "Oh, congratulations, that's great!" I felt Jack pat me on the back.

Suddenly Tosh came bursting in. "GOOD MORNING WORLD!" she shouted, hugging us all and leaving us confused and slightly shocked. Owen just came in looking dazed. I'd guessed he'd just woken up. He had never been a morning person.

"Bet they shagged on the way here," I heard Jack mutter, biting the corner of his triple fudge chocolate brownie. He had such a sweet tooth.

"Even better than that Jack!" Tosh beamed, twirling in circles and waving her arms about. I'd never seen her act so…giddy before. "Owen and I are getting married!" she held up her left hand and sure enough there was a diamond on her ring finger.

Everyone was silent for a moment. Owen had never seemed like the husband type, but we'd all changed in the last few months. And he and Tosh were hopelessly in love.

"Oh my God, that's brilliant Tosh!" Gwen squealed. The pair of them jumped up and was dancing around the Hub, singing some random song, lost in their own happiness.

"Oooooooooooooooooooowen," I said to the dazed Owen who was staring at his fiancée as if she was the only thing in the universe. To him, she probably was. I held the coffee up at his nose and swirled it around gently, carful not to spill it on the floor, trying to snap him out of his trance. "It's your favourite."

He grabbed hold of the cup, his eyes never leaving Tosh, and took a gulp. "Ianto…I am the luckiest man on this earth," was all he said.

I nodded and agreed. "You certainly are. For now anyway, you never know, Gwen might agree to marry Jack, or Jake and I-"

"Yeah mate, I don't want to hear about your sex life," Owen interrupted, raising an eyebrow at me before walking over to his computer.

I sighed happily; it was almost like the events that happened two months ago never occurred. Everything was back to normal. I looked over at the girls, whose hands were entwined and were still jumping up and down. Well, as normal as you get around this place…

_TBC - I'd like to dedicate this to my friends Cee and Mira. You guys rock and I hope everything will work out!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Little inside RRA joke in this chapter. Sorry this one's a bit short, and I have exams soon, so the next one probably won't be up until next Tuesday at least. Thanks for all the reviews guys! _

Tosh's POV

I don't think I had ever been this drunk before in my life. It was five o'clock in the evening when Martha came in for a surprise visit. We met her about a week after Gwen retconed herself. She was really nice and we stayed in contact. And she had saved Owen's life after he got shot on a mission, of which I was forever in her debt. I don't know what I'd ever do I lost Owen, I could hardly even think about it. She visited often as well. I still don't know how she and Jack met though; they both seem very secretive about it.

She and Gwen then dragged me out of the Hub to my flat and literally threw me into a shower, fully clothed I might add. They popped open a bottle of fizzy wine I had in the back of my fridge and we then had face packs and manicures galore, eating chocolate as we relaxed and enjoyed our time together.

Afterwards they went through my wardrobe, throwing items of clothing around until they sound the shortest skirt I owned and the sexiest top that I'd been given as a joke present by one of my friends from college for my last birthday.

They then put on a veil and a sash saying 'Hen Night'. I knew I shouldn't have made these two my bridesmaid and maid of honour, I was asking for trouble. They dragged me to the nearest club, lights flashing and music blaring from the huge stereo system. It was early in the morning and we still hadn't left. I had tried to a couple of hours before hand, but then this gorgeous stripper came. Fuck, I shouldn't have said Gwen could be maid of honour; Jack had been rubbing off on her. It was then two am.

We were practically falling on the pavement giggling and singing drunkly, our words slurred to the point where they sounded yeknom.

"_She's getting married in the morning, _

_Ding dong the bells are gonna chime,_

_Pull out his chopper,_

_Urgh what a whopper,_

_Get me on the church on time."_

It was without a doubt the best night of my life.

Owen's POV

My stag night was shit.

First, the lads and I got pissed out of our minds and got thrown out of three different clubs in about an hour. Then Ianto and Jack started to confess love to random pot plants that we passed in the streets and we nearly got arrested by one of Gwen's old cop buddies, PC Plum or something. And to top it all off, I had to fight some sort of shape shifting alien that took it about himself to take a nice chunk out of my arm.

Jack fixed it up for me as I sat there glaring at him. He sniggered and then burst out laughing; the smell of alcohol on him was strong.

"Why couldn't someone else do this?" I sulked, flexing my injured hand. "Tonight was my stag night."

"I would have called Gwen and the girls but…" Jack looked uncomfortable and I smirked, I needed something to cheer me up.

"But…" I encouraged curiously.

"Gwen said if I phoned them up tonight – even if it was an emergency – I would not only be sleeping on the couch, but I would and I quote 'Be tied to the conference table while Janet will be performing a sex change surgery' unquote," he mumbled the last part.

I couldn't help it, I cracked up and laughed until my sides hurt. A little payback for having a chunk of my arm being bitten off. I'd never look at poor Janet the same way though.

I shouldn't have let Ianto plann my stag night. We began in a posh restaurant for dinner and a couple of pints in a small pub near the Hub afterwards, but things quickly escalated. And then Ianto accidentally hired a male stripper instead of a female…well, I would have said accidentally but I wouldn't put it past Ianto to do that. Especially since I broke Gina, his beloved coffee machine. Who the fuck names their coffee machine Gina anyway? Who the fuck names their coffee machine _at all_?

We staggered back to the Hub, a short journey that would usually have taken a few minutes, instead it took us an hour. We drank Jack's ancient whiskey; God knows how old it is. Next thing I knew I had blacked out.

I woke up to the most horrifying sight. I don't think I have ever seen anything more ghastly. Not only was my head pounding, I was in Jack's room and Gwen's mother's photo was leering at me. I shivered. I couldn't believe Gwen had been able to convince Jack to go to her parents for Easter. His Sunday best was slightly different to every body else's…

I got up and headed to the showers. I needed a wash, then some coffee and aspirin for my bloody hangover.

I let the hot water fall onto my tense muscles, trying to relieve some of the knots and tension. I ran a bit of shampoo through my hair and when it was finally becoming hard to breathe I stepped out of the shower. I towel-dried my dark hair and massaged my temple, trying to stop the pounding in my head. I looked for some pain killers but couldn't find any; I made a mental note to restock the cabinet.

I looked down and really did see something more horrifying than Gwen's leering mother.

I was...pregnant?

_TBC - I didn't want to include Owen's reaction, so it'll be in the next chapter. I hope you liked it!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update! Thanks to Lady Clark for the rough draft of the chapter and for all the great reviews! I promise I'll try and update sooner._

Tosh's POV

Someone was banging on my head. No, wait, someone was banging on the door, it just felt like it was on my head, which by itself hurt like hell. That was the last time I was ever going drinking with Gwen and Martha again. Although that had been what I said the last three or so times.

"Toshiko-san, open this bloody door before your father rams it down," someone shouted, sounding impatient.

I recognized the voice instantly and sat up in a mixture of shock and horror, immediately regretting it when it felt as if my head had just had a brick thrown at it. I cracked one eye open and blinked against the light a few times. I thought the alcohol had damaged more brain cells than usual.

That was my mother.

Oh crap.

I stood up and waited several seconds for the room to stop spinning. Once it was vaguely still again I ran to the front door while throwing on my dressing gown, tripping over Martha's boots as I went. The place was a mess, but I didn't have time to worry about that. My father would kill me if he saw the previous nights outfit. He'd been far too overprotective when I was younger.

Crap, crap, crap. I opened the door to see my mother and father standing there, both looking furious. Ah, shit.

They gave me a strange look before pushing by me. I had suspicions that my hair was sticking up at odd angles, I had panda eyes from the previous night's make-up and I still looked half asleep. My mother wrinkled her nose at the mess of my flat. They could have given me some notice that they were coming, I would have cleaned up. "Haven't you been keeping up with your chores Toshiko-san?" she scolded.

"I've been working extra hours at work," I said stiffly, following them as they headed towards the kitchen.

"Don't you have enough money for a maid?" she said, scowling at Martha's boots as she nearly tripped over them as I had. "Not a very good job is it, if it doesn't pay you good money."

"My job is a very good job!" I snapped. It was the best job in the world. Without it I never would have met Owen. I smiled, only a few more hours…

"Don't talk back to your mother Toshiko-san!" my father snapped back. "Has living here on your own rubbed your manners out? I bet it's that boy, what's his name, Brown Harper? What a terrible name, nasty little boy not even asking my permission to marry you. Not asking for my blessing, we didn't even know you were seeing him until the wedding invitation came by and we still don't know what he looks like. Dreadful boy," he shook his head.

I sighed and rubbed my temples, I so didn't need this now. "Dad, his name is Owen, not Brown, Owen. He's a highly skilled doctor, hardly a dreadful boy. And we have been very busy at work, that's why we haven't visited and introduced him to you."

His brow creased. "Yet you have enough time to get engaged and plan a wedding without my permission."

I rolled my eyes and winced as my head throbbed. "I am not a little girl, Dad," I reminded him. He needed to accept the fact that I was an adult and could make my own choices. I didn't constantly need him behind me, advising me and giving me direction.

"You'll always be my little girl, Toshiko," he said softly, making eye contact with me. "Now, where's my hello?"

I hugged him quickly and pecked my mother on the cheek. I was about to offer them a drink when I heard a crashing sound coming from the bathroom.

"Is that him?" my father snapped, glaring at the bathroom door. I wondered if it would suddenly explode.

I groaned. "No Dad, that's probably Martha, my bridesmaid. She and my maid of honour slept over last night."

I realised I should probably wake Gwen up and walked into her room. Immediately I was hit by a God awful smell – either Gwen had died or she'd thrown up. This was going to be a long morning.

Jack's POV

I woke up to find myself in my office chair. Judging by the snores coming from my room I guessed that Owen was still sleeping. I yawned and grinned. Today Owen and Tosh are getting married. It seemed only a few months ago when they were flirting and not doing anything about it…oh no, wait, that _was_ only a few months ago. So much had changed in so little time.

I sat there wondering if Gwen was ready to get engaged again, after Rhys had cheated on her with some blonde bimbo whose boobs were bigger than her head. I wondered if she'd ever consider getting married to me. If she wanted to be my wife.

Mrs Gwen Harkness…had a nice ring to it.

Dammit, this was all Owen's fault. If he had never proposed to Tosh I would have never considered marrying Gwen…yet.

But no, he proposed to Tosh, and for the past few weeks I've found myself considering asking Gwen. And by 'considering' I mean I've brought the bloody ring.

How did this happen? Once upon a time I was a man that travelled in time, a man that always had a one night stand, who never knew about falling in love. Now, I was a man who is settled in Cardiff of all places considering marrying one of my best friends.

If the Doctor was here now he would be laughing at me. Probably throw a few insults as well. And then he would probably lick something from Ianto's kitchen…better not invite him round anytime, Ianto is still getting over the fact his coffee machine Gina died…who the fuck names their coffee machine Gina? We got him a new one…he called that Gino…

I pulled out the small velvet box I had hidden in my drawer and flicked it open with my thumb. The small diamond ring sparkled brightly, reflecting against the light. Three diamonds symbolising that we were in love, we are in love and we always will be in love. It was beautiful, just like she was, but it wasn't too extreme at the same time. I closed the box and put it safely away in my pocket.

Maybe today I'd find the courage to ask her.

Suddenly I heard a huge girly scream coming from the shower...

…that was not good.

_TBC - and Owen's reaction next time, I promise!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Once again, sorry for the delay. There's been a lot going on, but here's the next chapter!_

Owen's POV

I completely froze in shock. I was fat! I was huge – and I was getting married in a few hours! What the hell did I have to eat last night? I racked my brains trying to remember, but all I could picture was beer and – for some odd reason – pot plants. Oh my God, what was Tosh going to say? More importantly, what was _Ianto_ going to say when he saw I couldn't fit into my bloody penguin suit of a tux?

I prayed it was some kind of after affect of excessive stag-night drinking, but when I reached down my hand came into contact with a solid bump. The doctor in my snapped to attention and I started examining it – it certainly wasn't fat…there was something inside.

Then I felt something move.

I couldn't be…

No. Just no. Men do not – cannot – get pregnant. They just can't, and you don't have to be a fucking doctor to know that! There had to be some kind of explanation. Drugs, radiation, aliens…

Then I remembered who I worked for. Torchwood.

Oh God, hi, let me introduce myself, Owen Harper here. I know we've never really got to know each other but please tell me I am not pregnant with an alien baby or my wedding day!

I looked at the bandage on my arm and quickly tore it off. It was the only possible explanation; nothing else could have caused this to happen.

The door slammed open behind me, causing my head to throb. It began to hurt even more when I saw Jack, with Ianto in tow, staring at me in the mirror.

We were all silent for a moment. I stood there with baited breath (baited breath? Who the bloody hell says that? Oh…I do) for them to say something, anything.

Although when they did it was, "Can I be Godfather?" asked by Jack.

"What?" I asked, blinking a few times. The question was hardly able to seep past the fog in my head. He was trying to look serious, but his eyes were mocking me and the corners of his mouth were tugging into a smile.

"Can. I. Be. Godfather?" he repeated slowly, his accent thick and patronising.

"No!" I snapped, my hands moving to my swollen stomach. "You're a terrible influence on young children. If anyone's going to be Godfather it will be Ianto."

Jack and Ianto suddenly burst out laughing, and I realised what a mistake I had just made. I felt my face heat up in anger and embarrassment.

"Something you're not telling us Owen?" Ianto asked. "Is your real name Rowena? Is Tosh really a man? Bit strange, lots of secrets the pair of you have." He said through his laughter.

I just glared at him; Jack was muffling his giggles. The Captain was getting far too much enjoyment out of this.

"Hey Owen," he said grinning, his teeth gleaming white. "Have you thought about C-section? Because I hear the actual delivery is too painful for a woman let alone a man." He and Ianto started roaring with laughter again, clutching their sides.

"Ha, ha, ha," I say dryly. But that was a good point, maybe I should have a C-section, and then Tosh ands I can raise the evil little bugger without pain…what the bloody hell am I thinking?

"You know this is going to be hard to explain to the maternity shops when we start shopping for maternity clothes," Ianto observed. "I think you'll suit pink."

"Shut it," I snarled. Unfortunately, I could see that converstaion in my head:

_Ianto : Erm, hello. We're looking for some maternity clothes, please._

_Shop Assistant: OK, for whom?_

_Ianto: Him._

_Shop Assistant: But he's a man._

_Ianto: Yes...but he's a very fat man._

_Me: Oi!_

_Shop Assistant: Um, security!_

"Oh, hormones," Jack said in between giggles.

I growled and turned around to punch him when Ianto grabbed my hand. "Tut, tut Owen. You could hurt the baby," he said mockingly in his mother hen voice.

I groaned and Jack and Ianto began to cackle like evil witches with warts. What was Tosh going to say?

"We got to cancel the wedding you know," Jack said morbidly after he calmed down slightly.

"What? No fucking way in fucking hell!" I exclaimed violently. I wasn't going to cancel after all the hard work we'd all put into it.

"Language Owen, foetuses are very aware of their surroundings," Ianto said in a soothing tone, patting my hand gently.

"Then the baby is screwed from the start," I muttered, but I knew he heard me. "The wedding goes on. I've treated Tosh like shit in the past, and I am not going to repeat the same mistakes. I love her and this is her special day, I'm not going to let her down again. All we need to do is cover the bump," I decided.

Jack and Ianto exchanged looks before collapsing into hysterical laughter. I sighed; this is going to be one long morning.

_TBC_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Woop, next chapter! Big thanks to Lady Clark and all who read and reviewed the last one. We hope you like it!_

Gwen's POV 

I woke up to the sound of two Japanese people yelling. It took me a while to realise it was actually in Japanese and they weren't just making strange noises at each other – the blood was pounding against my skull and I couldn't remember a thing I had done the night before. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I groaned. What the bloody hell had I been thinking last night?

My phone started to ring. It was playing a classic Glenn Miller song that Jack had downloaded on my phone last week. It made my head explode with agony. I answered it quickly just to get it to stop.

"What?" I snapped, pulling a pillow over my head.

"Good morning to you too, sweetheart," Jack's sexy American drawl came, I swear to God half the time he speaks I get slightly turned on and this morning was no different. His voice was soft and, although slightly arrogant and amused, made me feel a little better.

"Sorry," I mumbled, shifting in my bed again. "I woke up with a killer headache."

"Ouch," Jack said sympathetically. "Shame you're not here, Ianto would have made you one of his miracle cures. If he'll stop laughing that is, if he keeps this up he'll wet his pants – and he'll _still_ be laughing so they'll be no one to clean it up."

"Why is he laughing? Did some hallucigin get released into the Hub or something," I asked, suddenly worried.

"No…but something did happen to Owen," Jack said, being cryptic. Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood for cryptic.

"Oh God, tell me he's not in Scotland!" I said, pulling the soft covers away and getting out of bed. "I can't tell Tosh that her husband-to-be is naked in some lorry heading to Scotland, she'll kill me!"

Jack chuckled lightly, the delicate sound calming me some. "Don't worry; he's not in Scotland or in some lorry. He was naked but that was in the shower," he added.

"Yeah, don't need the details," I said grimacing, suddenly remembering the brief affair I'd had with Owen.

"But we have a problem sweetheart," Jack said, suddenly serious.

"What? What happened, and _please_ tell me someone didn't break Ianto's coffee machine _again,_" I begged. He'd been pissed off for months after we broken Gina. Who the fuck names their coffee machine Gina? Who the fuck names their coffee machine _at all?_ Ianto, obviously.

"No one broke Ianto's coffee machine, though I'm tempted to," Jack said. "No, it's a bit more serious," he took a deep breath before saying: "Owen's pregnant."

I burst out laughing, tears of hysterical laughter formed in my eyes and my head continued to pound. However, I couldn't stop.

"I'm being serious Gwen!" Jack exclaimed loudly. "There's a big bump and Owen has refused to make me godfather," he began to sound like a toddler again, sulking.

I stumbled out of the room and towards the living room.

"Hey Tosh, according to Jack Owen's pregnant," I said in between giggles. And then I paused. Two middle aged Japanese people stared at me blankly, and Tosh looked furious. "I'll go and have a shower," I said walking slowly backwards out of the living room.

Ianto's POV

I ran a hand through my hair as I watched Jack put the equipment away. Owen really _was_ pregnant. No joke. With an alien. No joke. And he was getting married in a few hours. No joke. Don't you just love Torchwood…?

I stared at the bit mark on Owen's forearm. It was the cause of this problem. The alien had transferred fertilised eggs into his body, which had matured inside him to the point where he now appears pregnant.

"We can't cancel the wedding," Owen shouted at our boss. "If I were going to die due to the implantation, it would have happened by now. Besides, Tosh's whole family from Japan have come, and even my mother has turned up!"

"You see, that's why I think weddings are a waste of time," Jack drawled. "You hate your mother, Owen. Why would you want to share such a precious moment with her?" he asked, quite clearly not grasping the concept.

"BECAUSE IT'S A FAMILY THING!" I shouted, something inside of me snapping. "THE WHOLE POINT OF A WEDDING IS TO SHOW PEOPLE LIKE OWEN'S MUM THAT YOU CAN LOVE WITHOUT THEIR VIEWS. THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO SPEND A DAY WITH THE PEOPLE YOU HATE JUST TO DECLARE YOUR LOVE TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE TO PIECES. NOW STOP DISSING WEDDINGS JACK, YOU'VE BEEN DOING IT THE WHOLE TIME AND I THINK YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!"

Jack and Owen looked at each other and then stepped away from me, looking uneasy.

"Calm down Yan," Jack said, holding up a hand. "Calm down"

I exhaled and collapsed on to a nearby chair.

"We're still not cancelling the wedding," Owen said adamantly.

"Well, no offence Owen, but your suit isn't going to fit," Jack argued, eyeing his budging stomach.

I smiled and tapped the side of my nose. "Leave that to the wedding fairy," I said, getting up.

Both Jack and Owen gave me strange looks, but I just rolled my eyes and left the Hub.

Tosh's POV

My parents were arguing. Again. This time it was over Gwen, but it was thankfully in Japanese, so she wouldn't understand what they were saying. Mum kept calling her a whore for coming out in nothing but knickers and t-shirt and a nutter for saying Owen was pregnant, and Dad was defending her.

So my Mum was now accusing my dad of fancying Gwen. And they wondered why I didn't invite them over more often.

I hit my head against the table; I really wanted to get out of here. A glint caught my eye and I stared longingly at the knife…would Jack arrest me if I kill my parents? I could always claim an alien took control over my body...

I wished Owen were here.

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Due to Microsoft Word difficulties it took a while to get this chapter up, but I hope you like it!_

Owen's POV

Everything was perfect for the wedding. The sun was shining brightly outside and there was no prediction of rain…but it was Cardiff, so I wasn't too hopeful it would stay that way. The guests had arrived and were milling about happily conversing with one another. The flowers looked amazing, giving the church a very fresh feeling. The priest was present, and everything was looking perfect…apart from one thing.

"Owen Mervin Harper! Look at you, have you gained weight? A _lot _of weight?" I heard a high pitched voice squeal at me.

I winced and looked to my right. "Hello to you to Mum," I said, grinding my teeth.

Jack sniggered. "Mervin? Your middle name is Mervin?"

"Honestly Owen, not even a kiss hello?" she leaned up to kiss my cheek, leaving a lipstick mark that I tried furiously to rub off before anyone saw it. "Now where is Tosh? Are you sure you want to marry a foreign girl? Are you still jobless? Honestly Owen, you're nothing but a waste of space."

I mentally counted to ten and took deep breathes, I shouldn't lose my temper, she didn't know what I do for a living and to be honest, I was useless at the age of sixteen. Jack however looked furious; I could almost hear his blood boiling.

"Now hang on Mrs Harper, Owen is one of the best employees I ever had," Jack defended my honour, glaring at my mother.

My mother just snorted arrogantly. "I doubt that, cheese ball, and it's _Ms_. Harper. I divorced that waste of space's father years ago." She lit a cigarette and took a long puff. Those things would kill you, the doctor in my wanted to tell her that, but the son in me wasn't so sure.

I shifted slightly and stared at my shoes (which was rather hard considering my stomach was gigantic).

"He isn't a waste of space!" Jack shouted, making people look at him and my mother. He was standing in a defensive battle position and I wondered for a brief moment if he was going to hit her. He was probably too much of a gentleman to hit a woman though, even if it was my psycho, unpleasable mother.

Oh God, the shame: my grandparents were coming towards us.

"Owen, sweetie," my Nana cooed as if I were five years old. "Don't you look all grown up and…have you gained weight dear?" she scoffed. "Don't worry; it's nothing to be ashamed off. I don't like those overly muscular men myself. Muscles don't need muscles after all."

"A little bit," I muttered, feeling my cheeks turn red. "Been eating too much pizza lately," I mumbled lamely.

Nana made a tutting noise of disapproval and tried to smooth my hair out. "Such a handsome boy, this girl is a lucky girl to marry you."

"I would say I'm the lucky one, Nana," I said, feeling anxious to see Tosh. I knew she'd look absolutely beautiful, but would she say about my…'condition'?

"Probably darling, now why haven't you visited your Gramps and I? We missed having you round, and if you're gorging yourself on pizza then you need nutrition. The moment you come back from your honeymoon I want you and…Tish is it? You're mother wasn't clear on her name."

"Tosh," I corrected, giving my mother a glare out of the corner of my eye. She however, was still glaring at my boss.

"Well that's different," Gramps muttered, eyes glazed over as he was staring up the ceiling…poor bloke's not completely there in the head.

"She's Japanese," I said to him softly. I hoped they'd remember it.

"Well, you and Tosh come round for a nice dinner, my door is always open," Nana smiled warmly. She was very over the top, but she was one of the few relatives of mine I could stand to be around for more than five minutes at a time. "Now, what on Earth is that daughter of mine doing?"

I turned to see my mother and Jack still fighting and groaned. This was going to be a long day…why didn't I just elope with Tosh in Vegas?

_TBC_

_A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm afriad the next chapter probably won't be up for about three weeks due to a holiday, but I promise to update as soon as I get back!_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Sorry for the HUGE wait. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it. I had to rely on the internet to find out about Japanese weddings, so sorry if any of it is incorrect. :D Hope you like it!_

Gwen's POV

We were all preparing Tosh for the wedding. Martha and I pulled faces at our reflections; neither of us looked good in the pink dresses. I can only guess that Tosh's mother picked them out because Tosh's taste is so much better than this. There was a knock on the door and I went to answer it. When I opened it I saw Jack leaning against the frame looking absolutely delicious despite the black eye he was sporting.

"What happened to you?" I asked feeling concerned and reaching out to brush my finger gently against his bruised skin. "You haven't been fighting with Owen again have you?"

"No, Owen's she-witch of a mother did this to me," Jack moaned, looking grumpy. And cute.

"Awwwwwwwww, poor baby," I mocked, only half teasingly. "Want me to kiss it better?"

"Oh yes please!" Jack said nodding enthusiastically.

I laughed and leaned up to kiss the bruised skin on his eye when he leant down and captured my lips with his feather soft ones. His tongue slid across my lips and I parted them eagerly. We kissed for several minutes until Martha coughed loudly to remind us that she was still in the room. We pulled apart, Jack practically leering while I was blushing.

"I love weddings, don't you?" Jack asked, obviously _trying_ to sound casual.

"Yes, they're beautiful," I agreed, whole heartedly. I remembered my own engagement to Rhys and had never felt happier to have broken up with him.

"Do you regret not being able to have yours?" Jack blurted out, hopping onto my train of thought.

"What? No! I'm glad I never went through with it. I got you, that's all that matters."

"Would you go through the planning of another one?" he asked.

I remembered the annoyance of balancing the wedding planning and work and wrinkled my nose in disgust. "No, no I wouldn't."

I swore disappointment flashed in his eyes, but he suddenly gave me a grin, all pearly white teeth as usual. "Well, tell Toshiko to get ready to walk to the alter."

He then strolled away, his shoulders hunched over as if someone had died. "Well, that was weird," I mumbled.

Ianto's POV

I took a deep breath as 'Here Comes the Bride' began to play. Owen and Tosh had chosen to mix certain English and Japanese wedding traditions together, so I decided it was my duty as the Wedding Fairy to do as much research as I could. Instead of a veil she wore a _tsuno kakushi_. _Tsuno_ means 'horns' and the purpose of wearing this headdress was to veil her horns of jealousy, ego and selfishness - attributes that should not be displayed at a wedding in front of the groom and his family. It symbolized her resolve to become a gentle, obedient wife. Personally, I think her mother had pushed her to wear it more than anything. Jealousy, ego and selfishness weren't really things Tosh displayed in front of anyone, and if either of them should promise to be gentle and obedient it was Owen.

She had chosen a traditional white wedding Kimono. Her father walked her down the aisle where Owen was waiting anxiously. He was nervous, I think he just wanted the whole thing to be over. The tux we'd made adjustments to now fit nicely, however, it wasn't very flattering. I watched his face light up at the sight of her. She looked amazing. Her Kimono looked amazing on her and incredibly soft and silky. There was no such thing as an ugly bride. They were always somewhere between 'very pretty' and 'absolutely gorgeous'. Tosh was definitely the latter. She gave her father a kiss on the cheek and entwined her hand with Owen's.

Owen's POV

"If any of you object to this union please say now or forever hold your peace," the clergyman said.

I held my breath, hoping nothing would happen, that no one would object, and that my Gramps will stop snoring soon. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Tosh's mother was restraining her husband from objecting, grabbing ahold of his hand. That man really hated me. He kept glaring at me. For a moment I thought no one would object, that the clergyman would continue but instead he said:

"Yes? What is your reason to objecting?"

My head snapped around to see a beautiful woman with bronze skin, brown hair and topaz eyes. She was alluring but nothing compared to my Tosh. I had never seen her before in my life and I could tell from Tosh's confused expression that she hadn't either.

"That man," the woman said in a honey voice, pointing a manicured finger at me, "Is pregnant with my baby."

"Oh. My. God!" my mother said cackling. "She's a nutcase, ignore her and continue the wedding. The sooner it's over the sooner I can get to the free bar."

I groaned. Trust my mother to only care about the free bar. Jack's hand tightened onto the concealed gun in his waist holster. The woman stepped closer and from the corner of my eye I could see Gwen shifting something behind her bouquet.

The woman suddenly leaped at me, snarling. Both Jack and Gwen started shooting at her. My Gramps sat up awake.

"The enemy is attacking! The enemy is attacking! Everyone, get your guns and we'll shoot those Nazis dead!" he bellowed.

My Nana whacked him in the back of his head with her handbag. "George, behave. A lunatic has come in claiming that our grandson is pregnant and she's attacking him and all you can think about is shooting Nazis?"

"Millie, what are you doing here in the battle field?" Gramps asked blinking. I ducked behind them as the woman slashed out to me, dodging the bullets.

"George, we're at a wedding not a battle," Nana said sighing, clearly not aware of what was going on around her.

"Seems like a battle," Gramps muttered. "Oh look, its Captain Harkness. He was my commanding officer. I swear to god he was flirting with me once. SHOOT THEM CAPTAIN! SHOOT THEM TILL THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"

Jack laughed and I groaned, looking between the two of them. "You haven't changed a bit George," Jack called out.

The woman had seemed to have disappeared, and both Gwen and Jack stopped shooting. Ianto stood up and got everyone's attention.

"Err…ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Sorry to be an inconvenience but the wedding will be delayed until the lunatic is caught. You may proceed to the free bar until then," he said in that calm manner that only he could pull off.

"Finally!" my mother said, rising from her chair. "Thought I'd never get a good drink down me!"

Tosh sat down beside me and held my hand.

"Sure you still want to marry me?" I asked, giving her hand a firm squeeze.

"Definitely," Tosh said smiling and she leaned over to kiss me on the lips.

"TOSHIKO!" Tosh's father bellowed. "How dare you shame us with your hanky panky!"

Tosh blushed furiously and scoffed softly. "Sure you still want to marry _me_?" she asked.

"Oh yes, we can't do the hanky panky in sin can we?" I teased. "Your father might use a sword on my manly bits."

Actually I wouldn't put it past him. It seemed both our families were as mad as each other. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Jack, Gwen and Ianto walked up to us and as Jack walked past my Gramps stood up and saluted him.

"Captain, what are your orders, sir?" he asked, snapping into solider mode. He wouldn't be the only thing snapping if this carried on. I made a mental note to question Jack about it later.

"Err…George Greenly wasn't it?" Jack asked.

"Yes sir!" Gramps said.

"Well George, your orders are to go to the bar and keep all alcoholic drinks away from a Ms. Harper, think you can do that?" I smiled inwardly.

"Sir, yes Sir," Gramps said.

"Hurry then, George. We don't have much time."

I don't think I have ever seen my Gramps run so fast before in my life.

"Right Owen, I'm afraid until we can find this woman that you're hiding in the honeymoon suite and who knows, maybe you and Tosh can have a little practise," he winked at me.

"Oh shut up!" I snapped.

"What?" Jack asked innocently.

Ianto put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry; it's only the pregnancy hormones."

_TBC..._

_I really love Owen and Tosh's relatives - thanks to Lady Clark for the draft of the chapter._


	8. Chapter 8

Owen's POV

It had been a good half hour since the wedding had been interrupted and both Tosh and I had been locked in the honeymoon suite, whilst the rest of the team searched for that bloody shape shifter. Tosh was sitting there calmly while I was pacing up and down the room. I couldn't see my feet and my back was killing me. The room was painted in a creamy white colour. There was a large bed against the wall decorated in chocolates and rose petals, and there was heart shaped hot tub in the bathroom. This was ridiculous. I should be here making love to the woman I love, not hiding from a deranged shape shifter that got me pregnant! I took a deep breath to try and calm down. It didn't work.

There was a loud banging on the door, someone's fist pounding against it.

"OWEN MERVIN HARPER, YOU BETTER LET ME IN!"

Feeling my blood pressure rise, I groaned loudly and went to open the door; Tosh leaped up and grabbed hold of my wrist. "Don't answer it, it might be the shape shifter," she warned me.

"Tosh, there are only five people know my middle name. Myself, you, Jack, my Dad and my Mum. Trust me, that's her." Unfortunately.

I opened the door only to be pushed aside by my mother who looked slightly rumpled with her hair loose and her hideous hat missing. Her face was flushed and red. I could almost see steam coming out of her ears. "Your bloody grandfather has gotten me barred from the free bar!" she snapped, pulling the mini fridge open, obviously looking for alcohol. "He is sooooooooooo not getting a Christmas present from me this year!"

Shame. Gramps will miss out on his infamous gift of socks. I rolled my eyes; as usual my mother was being a bitch…no difference there. The door opened again and I knew it would be part of the team or a maid; I turned to see Jack glaring at my mother…oh yes, round two!

Ianto's POV

Gwen, Martha and I walked through the crowds, keeping an eye out for the shape shifter. Of course, she could have been anyone so we were really looking for a pin in a haystack, which meant the wedding was going to be delayed for a long time which really pissed me off. Once, just _once_, I would like to see something go as planned. Torchwood was amazing and I wouldn't give it up for anything, but it could get quite frustrating.

"Hey Yan," Gwen muttered softly.

"Yes Gwen?"

She waited for a second, considering her words. We came to another corridor; Martha went right, we went left. "What's wrong with Jack? He was acting really weird earlier, asking me if I would want to plan another wedding and when I said no he looked like someone had died."

I smirked and mentally rolled my eyes. It took less than a second for me to guess, I couldn't believe she hadn't. "Oh Gwenie, how sweet and innocent you are, even after working here for Torchwood and sleeping with Owen – by the way, what the hell were you thinking when you did that?"

Gwen glared at me. "OK, first thing don't call me Gwenie, its Gwen, repeat after me _Gwen! _Also about Owen, I wasn't. Now please answer my question."

I bit my lip from laughing right there in her face. She'd probably hit me if I did though. "Gwen, if you don't know and he hasn't asked, then I'm not going to spoil it. You're going to have to wait and see."

Gwen huffed and started to scan the room again with her deep chocolate brown eyes. "_W__here _is Jack anyway?" she asked. "You don't think he found the shape shifter do you?"

"What? Nah, he's probably searching on the grounds," I reassured her. He'd probably have radioed in if he had, and we would have heard the shooting and fighting.

Just as I thought those words, a crash upstairs could be heard. I stopped in place and looked up at the ceiling. Unless Janet and Bob the Weevil couple had crashed the wedding, the shape shifter must of found Owen…or Jack had found Owen's mother. One of the two.

Owen's POV

Jack glared at my mother and then immediately turned to me, his thick hair messy from running his hands through it. "I thought I told you that no one was allowed in here no matter what," he snapped.

"Jack, trust me that's her," I snapped back, defending myself; I did not need the hassle from him.

Jack snorted and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "It's not her Owen, she's downstairs arguing with your grandfather. This ugly bitch here is the shape shifter."

"EXCUSE ME!" my mother (or the shape shifter, though somehow I really doubt that, no one can be that much of a bitch to imitate my mother) shouted. "You, Captain Cheese Ball, are a nutter!"

"NO!" Jack snapped, pointing a finger accusingly at my mother. "You are the shape shifter!"

"Do you think Jack's been at the whiskey again?" Tosh murmured in my ear, I shrugged. I didn't think so but then again you can never tell with Jack. But it wasn't like him to drink on the job.

"Hey, what's all the shouting about?"

I turned around. Jack looked back at me...oh shit.

There was a tense moment of silence and suddenly the Jack that came charging in and accusing my mother to be the shape shifter morphed Jack's handsome face into something hideous (actually, it reminded me of Jack first thing in the morning) and grabbed hold of my mother, running out of the room….

But only after destroying the door. My mouth dropped open. What the fuck is it with aliens and destroying doors where I sleep?

_TBC_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Here's the next chapter guys. Thanks for all the reviews, and sorry I haven't responded to many. The whole e-mail thing distracted me._

Jack's POV

"Damn," I hissed under my breath as I watched the shape shifter smash through the door.

I worriedly glanced over at Owen and Tosh and let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding when I saw that they were both alright. Tosh looked slightly startled and Owen just looked pissed off, but I knew form a lot of passed experiences that that meant they were fine.

I heard a piercing high-pitched scream and winced, the sound ringing in my ears. Owen just rolled his eyes. He was obviously used to his mother screaming.

"What the Hell?" I heard a thick Welsh accent asked from behind me. Immediately I knew the voice belonged to that of Ianto.

I looked over my shoulder and saw him and Gwen standing in the door…hole? It certainly wasn't a door_way_ anymore. Their weapons were raised, their senses alert. Gwen's hair was slightly out of place and her dress was wrinkled, but she still looked amazing.

"What is it with aliens and your doors, Owen?" she asked.

Owen's face just turned a shade redder in colour. If a shape shifting alien knocked me up and then crashed my wedding I'd be pretty pissed off as well.

"Jack!" Martha asked, suddenly appearing beside Ianto, whose sweat covered hair was starting to stick to his skin. "I just saw Owen's mother being carried off by some kind of creature."

My head snapped up. "Which way did it go?" I asked, checking that my weapon had enough bullets.

"It was heading left," she said. Her dark hair was still slickly in place and her eyes roamed over each of us briefly; I knew she was checking us over for any injuries.

I mentally formed a plan in a split second, something I had learnt to do after years of experience. People died if you didn't act fast, and even if it _was_ Owen's she-devil of a mother, it was still my duty as a member or Torchwood to help.

"Alright, Martha, Tosh and Ianto, stay with Owen and figure out a way to get that damned _thing_ out of him," my eyes automatically moved to his swollen stomach, remembering the time I was pregnant myself. Inwardly shuddering I said, "Gwen, you're with me. We're gonna hunt this thing down before it can hurt anyone else."

I received four nods in return and Gwen and I took the left corridor, me taking the lead.

Tosh's POV

I started to pace the room, playing with my hands to keep them busy as I tried to work out away to get rid of that bloody evil baby before its mother ripped my Owen to pieces. I wouldn't let that happen. I didn't care what it took; I'd find a way to keep him safe.

"We should abort it," Martha said, keeping a weary eye on the door.

"WHAT!" Owen shrieked. "If you haven't notice _Dr_ Jones, I'm a bit too far on to have an abortion," he gestured to his swollen stomach.

"We could always C-section it," Ianto piped up, his gun hovering toward the door. "Get the baby out now and give it to the mother."

Owen rolled his eyes. "Oh, and how are we going to do that when we have no medical tools?" he asked. "I'm not going to die in my honeymoon suite due to blood loss." And I wasn't about to let him.

I looked around the room, desperate for anything that might spark and idea. Then it hit me. "Owen, remember that singularity scalpel you were showing off to Martha?"

Owen looked at me, his dark chocolate eyes gleaming. "Yes."

"I remember it too well," I heard Ianto mutter. "How many times did it take my eyebrows off? Far too many."

Owen allowed himself a small smile, as did I. I swear he did it on purpose after the third time.

"Do we still have it in the SUV?" I asked Ianto.

"Yeah, in Owen's medical kit, though he's not allowed to use it. Jack's orders after _he _lost his precious eyebrows."

I suppressed a full blown laugh as I remembered our Captain's reaction. It involved a lot of screaming and arm flailing.

"We'll use that," I said quickly. "To get rid off the baby."

"Excellent!" Ianto said. He smirking slightly as Owen went incredibly pale. I reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. I couldn't help but sigh; if things had gone to plan we'd be happily married by now. But when did things ever go to plan?

Gwen's POV

We followed the shape shifter out onto the patio; it was incredibly fast. Everyone screamed when they saw what was happening. The shape shifter held Owen's mother at claw point and smirked.

Though the screeching I could clearly make out the words: "Hands off of my little girl!" I looked over to see Owen's Nan pulling out a gun…Wait, what?

I turned to Jack. He looked rather confused as well.

"I know what you are! I haven't spent the past thirty years working for UNIT for nothing you know." Owen's Nan continued, switching the safety of the weapon off. "Now, one last chance. Get your filthy hands off of my little girl"

UNIT? Owen's grandmother worked for _UNIT_?

"Nana, it's OK."

We turned round to see Owen holding a bouquet of flowers. The feeling of dread grew in the pit of my stomach.

"I thought I ordered you to stay in the room," Jack roared.

"Is that my bouquet?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

Owen ignored me, what a surprise. "I'm giving myself up," he said. He turned to the shape shifter, a blank look on his face. "Let my mother go and I'll let you have me."

_TBC_

_Once again, thanks to Lady Clark for the adding to the draft, and for Owen's family, whom I_ love_._


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: Here's the next chapter. Thanks go to L.C. Hope you like it!_

Jack's POV

My weapon was trained on the shape shifter, but my eyes were looking at Owen's grandmother. What was going on? She worked for UNIT? Owen's whole family were crazy…I suddenly understood him so much better. If I had to live with the queen bitch herself, a cooky grandfather who still thinks we're at war and an undercover UNIT agent I'd be a sarcastic, sometimes bitter little bastard as well.

My eyes moved to Owen. I pitied him. He didn't ask for any of this. He simply wanted to marry the woman he loved. What was wrong with that? But this was Torchwood, we had to make sacrifices. Better one of us that some poor innocent civilian. At least we had the technology to fight back. We stood a chance, others didn't and we knew all of that when we accepted the job. Anyone of us could back out at any moment. But then, when I really thought about it I realised no, we couldn't. We were a team, and we'd never abandon each other.

I could feel Gwen next to me, warm and strong; there to support me and I her. I knew Tosh, Ianto and Martha weren't far behind Owen. They were the people that kept me strong and I wouldn't let this carry on. It had to end.

My eyes moved back to the shape shifter. It leered and slowly moved her clawed hand away from Owen's mother's throat. Shame, I was hoping that the claws might accidentally on purpose puncture Ms Harper's neck...well so would you if you had to put up with her! The shape shifter then moved quickly towards Owen, but before I could do anything the sounds of a gun being shot could be heard and I saw through the bouquet of flowers that Owen was holding was a gun. I grinned; I bet it was Tosh's idea.

The shape shifter screeched and started to run off. Owen sighed before dropping the bouquet.

"Now that's my grandson, " Millie Greenly smiled brightly. "Have I mentioned how proud I am of you?" I sniggered when Owen's cheeks turned a faint pink. Millie then looked at Ianto. "You must be Jake's Ianto; he's told me all about you," Ianto looked suprised but then also turned a faint pink.

Meanwhile the evil she-witch from hell – I mean, Owen's mother – had flung her arms around her son while muttering something about how she was wrong and he wasn't a waste of space. It was about time she realised that!

There was a sudden roar and I turned to see the shape shifter coming back at full speed.

"Fuck!" Owen said before he grabbed hold of Tosh's hand and running towards the old barn.

A sudden spark of inspiration hit me and I ran towards the SUV.

"Where are you going?" Gwen demanded.

"I just remembered I have a new toy to play with!" I called over my shoulder.

Owen's POV

Tosh and I ran as fast as we could, but with the bloody baby pressing up against my bladder I was having a hard time to keep my speed.

"Got the singularity scalp?" I asked Tosh the moment we entered the barn and barricaded the door...though something told me that that wasn't enough to keep the shape shifting bitch out. It had already torn through one door.

Tosh pulled out the electronic alien device from her kimono...wait, did I see no bra? I twisted my head to the side to get a closer look only to be walloped by the singularity scalp upside the head.

"Now is not the best time to be eyeing me up! Lie down," she snapped impatiantly.

I groaned as I began to lie down on the smelly, damp straw. Urgh, remind me to never go to another barn. It smells just like the countryside. Bloody countryside. The stench brought back memories of the cannibals.

Tosh fumbled with the singularity scalp as the constant banging on the door from the shape shifter could be heard. It sounded like she was clawing at it. I shivered. "Can we get a move on?"

"Whatever happens, I love you," Tosh whispered, looking me in the eyes before pecking me on the lips. She then moved the device over my invaded stomach and pressed down hard on the singularity scalp.

And I felt nothing.

Seriously, if it was going to work you would think I would feel something, especially after all the screaming Ianto did when I purposely set his eyebrows on fire – I mean accidentally. Of course.

The door broke slightly and we could see the shape shifter's face leering through...urgh, there goes my breakfast.

"Give me my baby!" she screeched in a high pitched voice that hurt my ears.

"No can do," Tosh said smugly.

The door broke through completely and the shape shifter ran towards me, only to be chased back by Tosh who was wielding a chainsaw... God, she looked sexy...and a bit scary, but sexy none the less. I hope I never pissed Tosh off again. Oh God, I'd hate to think how she'd act if _she_ ever got pregnant.

However, just as things were looking up the chainsaw suddenly stopped working...bollocks.

The shape shifter smirked and held up her claws to strike down Tosh while I was lying here immobile with the freaking cow's baby, when suddenly, she blew up to bits.

We turned to see Jack grinning whilst holding a large gun with smoke coming out of it.

"New toy?" I asked, breathing heavily and raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah," Jack said proudly. "Nice to see you're no longer pregnant."

What? I looked down at my stomach to see nothing but a saggy suit. I sighed in relief as he helped me up.

"Thank God, I was worried that I would have to breast feed the little bugger," I said. Tosh ran up to me and threw her arms round me tightly. I swept her up and held her up high as I carried her out of the barn...and then I promptly dropped her.

"Ow!"

"Sorry honey, not very good at this sort of thing," I said sheepishly. Jack snorted but for once he refrained from commenting...I gave him till the reception until he made one. I bent down and helped her up. "Tosh, if you still want to...I want to marry you today. Now."

"Then lets get married," she said, smiling softly and looking so angelic...

And then suddenly a naked old man ran past.

"Unless you want to elope," I said quickly, my face falling. "I don't mind."

"DEATH TO THE NAZIS!" the naked old man shouted.

Oh shit, Gramps forgot to take his medication again...

_Not long to go now. :D_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Thanks for all the reviews guys! _

Jack's POV

I stood by Owen's right hand side watching with a mixture of sheer adoration and amusement as Toshiko and Owen stood there, hand clasped before a minister. He was a balding man who looked like he'd been at the communion wine. Six months ago if you told me Tosh and Owen was going to get married I would have laughed, taken out the alien that was possessing you and then put you in therapy for the next decade. But now I'm standing here as Owen's best man for their wedding, and the pair just looked adorable together - and that's a word I never thought I'd use when describing Owen. He looked small and drowned in his over sized suit, and Tosh looked windswept and ragged with her elegant hair style gone and the hem of her dress covered with dirt.

But the look of love in their eyes were just beautiful, I haven't seen that kind of love, adoration and infatuation between two people since the Doctor and Rose.

"Sir, the ring if you please?" the minister said.

"Wha...? Oh yeah, right. Hold on a moment," I fumbled around in my jacket pocket until I found the golden band Owen asked me to take care off. There was an inscription inside that simply read 'My Nerd'....Owen still hadn't learnt the meaning of pet names yet it appeared. But then again, Gwen let it slip that Tosh has 'My Prat' engraved in Owen's ring, so maybe it was just their type of pet names.

"Repeat after me," the minister began. "I, Owen Mervin Harper," I could hear Ianto laughing his head off in the back and suppressed a smile myself as I watched Owen's ears turning pink.

"I, Owen Mervin Harper," he repeated, mumbling on the Mervin.

"Take thee, Toshiko Sato."

"Take thee, Toshiko Sato."

"To be my lawful wedded wife."

"To be my lawful wedded wife."

"To love and hold."

"To love and hold."

"To cherish and adore."

"To cherish and adore."

"To honour and obey."

"To honour and obey."

"Till death do we part?"

"Till death do we part."

Owen slid on the ring and smiled nervously at Tosh who was blushing and smiling rather sweetly. The minister nodding with approval before tuning to Tosh herself. "Repeat after me. I, Toshiko Sato."

"I, Toshiko Sato".

"Take thee, Owen Mervin Harper."

"Take thee, Owen Mervin Harper."

"To be my lawful wedded husband."

"To be my lawful wedded husband."

"To love and hold."

"To love and hold."

"To cherish and adore."

"To cherish and adore."

"To honour and obey."

"To honour and obey."

"Till death do we part?"

"Till death do we part."

Tosh slid on Owen's ring and smiled up at him adoringly.

"Toshiko and Owen would like to make their own vows before you all today," the minister announced. "Owen you may go first."

"Tosh...when I first met you, I never thought I would end up here," Owen said truthfully, and he wasn't the only one if the look Gwen, Ianto and I shared was anything to go by. "You were beautiful, elegant and intelligent while I seemed to be a whole class below you," to my disgust I saw Tosh's dad nod in agreement out of the corner of my eye with that comment. Owen wasn't below Tosh, they were meant for each other....great, I'd turned into a romantic in my old age. "As time went on I fell for you a little bit. You helped me so much through my mistakes, my troubles...you accepted me and you accepted my barmy family-"

"OI, WHO ARE YOU CALLING BARMY!" Owen's grandfather yelled, still naked...I can really see why Owen has been in therapy for so long.

"Tosh, can I thank you again for forgiving me for being such a prat?" Owen said ignoring his grandfather. "I'm ready to spend my whole life with you, I want to be with you my whole life."

I bet every single dime I owned that either Ianto or Gwen helped him write that.

"I do, I so completely do." Tosh whispered tearfully.

"And you, Toshiko," the minister said encouragingly.

She pursed her thin lips for a moment before beginning. "Owen, when I first set eyes on you I knew there was something more than the cold sarcastic man you pretended to be. There had always been something that pulled me towards you and I allowed it. For years it seemed I was in only for a heartbreak when you chose another woman over me but the day when you told me you loved me was one of the happiest days of my life...well, not completely since we were being tortured at the time-"

"YOU WERE BEING TORTURED? I WAS THE ONE THAT HAD TO SPEND AGES IN THE MED-BAY!" Ianto shouted.

"-But I'm so honoured of being the one person who have chosen to let in. To be the one person you tell everything to and I swear that within everything in my power I won't leave you. I love you Owen Harper, and I always will...do you accept that?"

"Yes," Owen croaked. "I do, forever I do."

That was all he needed. "I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride," the minster announced.

Owen bent down and cupped Tosh's face before pulling her in for the sweetest, tender most bloody chaste kiss I had seen since the Doctor pecked Rose on the forehead goodnight _when _she was snoring her head off. I almost rolled my eyes when Tosh wrapped her arms round Owen's neck and deepened the kiss. They only stopped when it was time to come up for air; both of them were panting slightly and their lips were completely swollen .

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I announce Dr and Mrs Owen Harper!"

Everyone stood up and applauded loudly. I offered my arm to Gwen who accepted it quickly and led her down the aisle behind Tosh and Owen...maybe, just maybe, I'd be doing this at my own wedding soon enough, it all depended on whether Gwen said yes.

_TBC..._


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the lateness of this chapter. Both L.C and I have have mocks and assesments recently, and I was aiming to have this up by Christmas, but the internet died when I needed it the most. But this is the last chapter and I hope you enjoy it. As usual, we own nothing._

Owen's POV

I sat there between Tosh and Jack on the high table in the reception feeling absolutely drained, mentally and physically. I was going to ask which cater Ianto hired because there was something off about the shellfish and I didn't fancy food poisoning on top of everything else that had happened today. Enough was enough...that, and I think Ianto deliberately picked shellfish in a subtle way to say I am selfish, no matter what the others think I'm not _that _dumb.

Suddenly, Jack tapped his fork to his champagne glass to grab everyone's attention. I groan as I remembered that Jack had to give the Best Man speech...why, oh why, did I ask Jack again?

Oh yeah, because Ianto would have bored everyone to death.

Jack's blue eyes gleamed, and I got a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. "Now, I did some research on the internet on how long a Best Man speech should be," he said with a smirk. Oh God, this wasn't going to be good. "Apparently, a Best Man speech should be as long as the groom makes love to the bride...so I guess there's no point in even having a speech."

Everyone but me laughed. I knew Jack loved the attention.

"Just like his father then," my mother hollered drunkenly. Oh for fuck sake, I really should have just asked Gwen to do the speeches.

"Now, to being serious," Jack said calmly, his grin melted off of his face. "Owen was a rat-faced arsehole who couldn't really care less about anyone – well, that was the impression he gave off. But truth is, he was a loving man who tracked me down for revenge of the death of his fiancée, he was man so full of grieve that he closed himself to love...then he met Toshiko...and well, she opened him up again. I am proud to call Owen Mervin Harper my brother."

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Never," Jack said grinning, his pearly white teeth shinning. He then went back to being serious. "Toshiko...when I found her she was in a troubled state, she was terrified and preferred to hide behind something just to keep her safe. Once Owen opened his bloody eyes and realised Tosh was the one for him, he had made her become one of the most beautiful blossomed flowers in the garden, someone who was not scared to have her say, someone who could be outgoing. I'm proud of you both and I love you both so very much. To Toshiko and Owen!"

"To Toshiko and Owen!" everyone chanted taking a sip of their champagne as Tosh sat beside me blushing beautifully as she usually did. I bent down and pressed a kiss on her cheek causing her blush to deepen, I couldn't help but smirk. I loved the effect I had on her.

"O-O-Owen," I turned to see my mother stuttering as she shivered, making her way to me. I got up and met her half-way, keeping a firm hand on her arm, she had too much alcohol, I'm sure...wouldn't be the first time and I knew it wouldn't be the last. "I was wrong Owen, so wrong, you're not a waste of space, you never were...I just looked at you and saw your father," my mother babbled, tears streaming down her cheeks. Good lord, she can cry! I thought that was impossible. "You're a hero baby," she whispered. "I love you, so much."

I held onto my mother tightly. "Love you too, Mum," I mumbled, and then she felt limp in my arms, I pull back to see her snoring gently. Around the room everyone but the team and my grandparents were asleep.

I felt Jack put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, but we had to retcon them," Jack murmured.

"She finally saw me as me," I whispered half to myself and half to him.

"I know..." Jack said sadly.

Nana stepped forward and took my mother into her arms. She then smiled at me sadly. I felt Tosh slip her hand into mine. "You were always a hero to me," she whispered reassuringly.

Soft slow music started up and I looked round to see Ianto and Martha working on the DJ kit while the DJ himself was snoring his head off on the floor.

"This one is for you Owen and Tosh!" Ianto called out. "Think of it as your first dance."

I turned to Tosh and pulled her gently onto the dance floor. My arms wrapped round her waist tightly as hers rested on my neck. From the corner of my eye I could see Jack leading Gwen onto the dance floor, followed by Nana, Gramps and Martha dragging Ianto.

"Shouldn't we retcon your grandfather?" Tosh whispered.

I raised both my eyebrows at her. "Tosh, my grandfather is a nutcase, who the hell will believe him?" No point in wasting perfectly good retcon.

She gave a brief nod. "Fair point."

Gwen's POV

I watched Tosh wrapped tightly in Owen's arms, swaying in time to the music. They looked like they were lost in their own little world. When I first met them I didn't think either were marriage material. Tosh seemed like a little computer geek that spent every Friday night sitting and talking to a cat, and Owen was just a mean little twat. But they were my family, and I loved them both.

Jack's arm slipped around my shoulders, strong and protective. He sent a wave of cologne my way; he smelt so good. A scent completely Jack Harkness. "You alright?" he asked.

"Tired," I said, leaning into him. "It's been a long day."

He said nothing, but I could feel the movement of him nod. I listened to the sound of his heartbeat. _Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump._ Fast and aggressive. "Are _you_ alright?" I asked.

He reached behind him and pulled out two glasses of champagne, handing one to me. I mumbled a thanks and held it between my hands loosely. All the guests bar two or three were out cold and wouldn't remember a thing when they woke up. At least, I hoped not. My memory always came back whenever I took retcon.

I raised the glass to my mouth, but stopped half-way when something sparkled in the light. It was probably debris from the destruction the shape shifter caused. With all the fuss today I couldn't be arsed to get a new glass, so I just got a fork and took it out. And then froze.

Hanging from the end of the fork was a golden band with three diamonds on it. A ring. Oh God, Tosh hadn't lost it earlier had she?!

"What'd you say?" Jack asked, moving to stand in front of me so that he was the only thing in my line of sight. "Will you marry me, Gwen?" he whispered.

Wait, the ring was for me? Captain Jack Harkness was actually proposing marriage to me? _Me_... I just stood there with my mouth hanging open; I couldn't shut it no matter how much I wanted to.

Jack sighed quickly, mis-reading my silence. "I understand if you...I mean, there was the whole thing with Rhys and -"

I crushed my lips against him, hopefully leaving no room for doubt as it what my answer was. Gwen Harkness...I said it over in my mind a few times. It had a ring to it (no pun intended). Of course, I'd combined ours names before, but never so realistically.

"Is that a yes?" he breathed against my lips.

I just grinned. "We'll tell them later. This is Owen and Toshiko's big day," I said, leaning down to capture his lips again.

Ianto's POV

I was just dusting off the front desk and Geoff the postman came in whistling cheerfully. "Morning Ianto," he said cheerfully.

"Morning Geoff, how are you?" I asked politely.

"Fantastic, my grandkid just got accepted into Cambridge, imagine that?" Geoff boasted proudly.

"Congratulations," I smiled. "Any post for me?"

"Yep, some letters, fast food adverts and oh, a postcard from the Caribbean," Geoff said passing me the small bundle. "Well, better be off then, I'll see you the same time tomorrow Ianto."

"Goodbye Geoff," I called out whilst going through the pile and pulling out the postcard, it was a simple view of a beach with greetings from the Caribbean written in italics in the corner. I turned it round to see Owen's messy scrawl on the back.

**To the Wedding from Hell**

**From the Honeymoon from Heaven **

I snorted. Oh, I bet it was. Also, if Tosh and Owen go at it like Jack predicts, they'll get pregnant again...only this time not Owen. I hope anyway…

_A/N: Well, there you go. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story to the end. Happy late Christmas._

_Zebbie and L.C._


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